Finally! After what appears to be an eternity I finished the Ulysses by James Joyce. I think it is definitively one book to read with an expert at hand, so they can help you make the most out of the book. I am not sure why is this book so important, or influential, or revolutionary. It is a very detailed description of people's habits, customs desires. A little detailed sometimes with explicit masturbation scenes, or even the smelling of nails with fungus... I guess a lot of "normal" things that usually never appear in novels.... or maybe they do now a days, but I am sure that at the beginning of the 20th century it was still very tabu (this booked was banned from the U.S. for a long time, because it was argued to be immoral).

I thought I was getting prepared for tackling the Ulysses by tackling first the Odyssey by Homer. The Odyssey was a really fun novel, but I still think that Telemachus made up the story of Odysseus (Ulysses in Latin) because he was going to loose his kingdom (and his life!) to the suitors... so he went out and found the first man he could convince to be the King of Ithaca and then this man just pretended to be Odysseus and take over Ithaca (and Penelope as well). By the way, Argos, the dog that "allegedly" recognizes Odysseus is how old??? Odysseus supposedly left and waged war for 10 years with Troy, and then another 10 years missing... that would make the dog 20 years at least! This kind of reminds me of Mathusalen.... either in the past the earth revolved around the sun much faster than 365.25 days or they had another way of counting years!!!


But I digress. The point is that Ulysses doesn't follow very closely Odysseus. At the beginning there are some hints... Stephen calls the woman that sells the milk a goddess (so I assume she is cleared eye Athena), but other than these random links, there is nothing really parallelizing the Odyssey. I might as well write a book about one of my days in Bogotá and throw in random links to the Aeneid and call it the Aeneis :-)

Anyways, Ulysses is an extremely complicated book to read. Here is just an excerpt of some wacky places (this belongs to a chapter that appears to resemble a play and apparently at this point Bloom is phantasising... he is in a brothel... if that helps ).

THE NYMPH (Covers her face with her hand.) What have I not seen in that chamber? What must my eyes look down on?

BLOOM (Apologetically.) I know. Soiled personal linen, wrong side up with care. The quoits are loose. From Gibraltar by long sea, long ago.

THE NYMPH (Bends her head.) Worse! Worse!

BLOOM (Reflects precautiously.) That antiquated commode. It wasn't her weight. She scaled just eleven stone nine. She put on nine pounds after weaning. It was a crack and want of glue. Eh? And that absurd orangekeyed utensil which has only one handle.

(The sound of a waterfall is heard in bright cascade.)

THE WATERFALL

Poulaphouca Poulaphouca
Poulaphouca Poulaphouca.

THE YEWS (Mingling their boughs.) Listen. Whisper. She is right, our sister. We grew by Poulaphouca waterfall. We gave shade on languorous summer days.

JOHN WYSE NOLAN (In the background, in Irish National For ester's uniform, doffs his plumed hat.) Prosper! Give shade on languorous days, trees of Ireland!

THE YEWS (Murmuring.) Who came to Poulaphouca with the high school excursion? Who left his nutquesting classmates to seek our shade?

--See what I mean?
WTH is Poulaphouca for example? Some Googling states that:

Poulaphouca (Poll an Phúca in Irish, "The Devil's Hole") is a small village in County Wicklow, Ireland. It is primarily known for its hydroelectric generating station and artificial lake.
So fine, as they say in the book, I guess Poulaphouca is just a waterfall, or something. But what is the point of a waterfall speaking?
Another weird scene follows:

(Stephen and Bloom gaze in the mirror. The face of William Shakespeare, beardless, appears there, rigid in facial paralysis, crowned by the reflection of the reindeer antlered hatrack in the hall.)

SHAKESPEARE (In dignified ventriloquy.) 'Tis the loud laugh bespeaks the vacant mind. (To Bloom.) Thou thoughtest as how thou wastest invisible. Gaze. (He crows with a black capon's laugh.) Iagogo! How my Oldfellow chokit his Thursdaymomun. Iagogogo!

It takes some Googling to find out this really weird association:

The personage addressed by Shakespeare in the mirror is presumably Iago from Othello, if the "facial paralysis" has caused Shakespeare to stammer. oldfellow means father. In the "Scylla and Charybdis" episode, either Stephen or the narrator or the implied author in an interior monologue refers to Simon Dedalus as "old fellow"


Bottom line: I need someone to explain me what is going on in this novel! Help!